the solace of showers

It’s such a shame that water is such a precious and limited resource.

Coming home from a long day at work, or after any emotionally taxing day, there’s nothing better than a nice long shower – hot in winter, and ice cold in summer.

For me, I don’t think it’s as much about the feel of the water on my skin as it is about the complete immersion in the sound. Sure, the cooling/warming feeling (as the season requires) is soothing, and certainly helps to ease the tension from my body, but what I’ve come to realise is that the sound – the noise – is paramount.

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non-specific apathy

From time to time, I find that I am struck with what I’ve termed “non-specific apathy”, which is exactly what it sounds like: a general unexplained feeling of non-feeling.

I suppose it’s kind of close to a melancholy sort of feeling, but it’s not quite as sad. This non-specific apathy is, however, bad for motivation because if you’re feeling apathetic, nothing really matters, right?

I don’t think it happens to me often, but, apparently, when it does strike, it can be quite obvious to others.

Ok, so this is kind of entering into new territory because I don’t tend to write overly personal things on this blog, but, like I always say, this is my blog and I’ll write what I want.

Over the years, I’ve come to learn that I’m supposedly quite good at concealing my stress and worry about a lot of things. I cannot tell you how many people have told me, throughout high school, uni and work, that I never (or rarely) seem to be stressed out, and/or that I seem to be a very happy/enthusiastic person.

The latter observation is actually quite accurate because I do have a tendency of approaching new tasks/challenges with enthusiasm and alacrity. The former observation is possibly also reasonably accurate, but I’m not sure to what extent it’s a conscious/subconscious effort to appear cool, calm and collected.

I suppose, then, that when I stray from this composed visage, it might, for those who know me well enough, be obvious enough.

(Side note: If you’ve happened to notice that, in these last few months – specifically, since the start of this year – I’m using a lot more commas in my writing, it’s almost certainly because I’ve been reading Charles Dickens’ David Copperfield; and the bookish amongst us all know that Dickens is renowned for his long sentences, which, of course, cannot be constructed without a healthy sprinkling of commas and other punctuation marks.)

However, part of me does wonder if, on some level, I don’t actually try to conceal this apathy at all, and would actually prefer that it was noticed. But, I mean, if it’s a general apathy, why would I care who knows and who doesn’t? Sometimes I wonder if it’s a kind of quiet cry of distress, or maybe a silent call for help. Maybe it’s some weird self-preservation strategy for when I’m feeling emotionally overloaded. Yeah, that sounds plausible… I’ll go with that.

working it out

Brr.. it’s getting cold… But still not cold enough to need a coat for going to and from work. (And last night I didn’t leave until after 7pm.) I think I kind of know that this isn’t as cold as it’s going to get, so I’m trying to hold off on bringing out my really warm jackets and whatnot. (That’s a logical move, right?)

Anyway, I didn’t actually have work today because I’m working on Sunday. I probably haven’t had a week-day off (excluding public holidays) since I took my annual leave last year, so it was pretty weird not going to work today. I kept thinking that it’s Saturday, and then had to remind myself that everyone else is still at work today, and Saturday is, in fact, tomorrow.

Anyway… Just thought I’d share this video that a friend shared on FB. It’s about the real reasons why people enjoy work, and I thought it was pretty interesting. Dan Ariely makes some very good points about attached/perceived meaning and motivation. Worth watching if you love or hate your job.

Also on the topic of work: Since I was at home all day, I managed to watch almost all of “The Project” (Channel Ten), and they had a quick story about how some researchers in the UK found that people who work together in stressful jobs and/or have horrible bosses can develop really strong friendships even if they have very little in common outside of work.

I’m not sure how much I can relate to that, but I suppose it sounds reasonable. It’s sort of like being on the same team against a common enemy or something (but maybe not that dramatic). I have previously wondered if I met certain work-friends outside of work, if we would still become friends… but who knows, really…

On a sort of related but only really in a roundabout sort of way, so not really related matter: From my vast experience of sharing buses and trains with fellow commuters, I’ve developed a theory of sorts that if you’ve looked at someone for more than about two seconds (maybe even less than that), chances are you’ve judged them, sized them up or otherwise formed some sort of opinion of them. I’m sure there’ll be a study (or multiple studies) out there that actually shows that people judge other people in very short spaces of time, but most people probably don’t need a study to tell them that.