The other day, reflecting back on how trying this year has been, a colleague asked me if I was ready for this year to be over. My first thought was “yes”, since I’d actually had that exact thought a day or two before she asked me. But in a split second, I changed my answer.
Changing the year isn’t going to change anything. Doing things changes things. As nice as it would be to pass through some kind of temporal gate into the new year with a steward standing guard to prevent the passage of the trials and challenges of the preceding year — it’s just not going to happen.
Is it too soon to be thinking about the end of the year?
There have been times when I’ve thought that, compared to last year, this year has been pretty tough, but I’d like to think that, for the most part, overall, I’ve got a positive outlook.
Not least of my problems right now is a cut I have on the tip of the middle finger of my left hand. Being right-handed, it’s not the worst digit I could have injured, but it’s still a pretty important digit nonetheless. For one, it’s pretty weird trying to type with a bandaid strapped around it. (It’s not exactly the easiest place to keep a bandage on either.)
Of course, when I cut my finger, I knew it was going to affect how I do a lot of things, but I don’t think I realised the full extent of it. Being right in the middle means it sometimes takes the index and/or ring fingers out of commission too.
Surprisingly, almost just as bad (but not quite), is this random cut I have on the outer side of my right-hand pinky finger. It’s annoying because I don’t know how I got that cut (probably from work), and it’s taking forever to heal because it’s near where the joint/fold in the finger is, and it actually comes into contact with a lot of things during regular daily tasks.
Sounds like I’m having a good ol’ vent here, but the point of this wasn’t to throw a pity party. Now and then, I wallow in a bit of self-pity, but it’s not a good place to be.
I suppose I just want to say that, although I anticipated that life was going to be hard with these particular incisions, I didn’t know the reality of it until I lived through it. But even though life is harder than it was, I’m still getting by, and the cuts will be healed soon enough. The important thing is to keep going.