next chapter

Today I finished reading Birds Art Life Death (by Kyo Maclear) and I really want to publish a post about it, but I don’t think today is the day for that. I feel a bit out of sorts. Probably I’m just sleep deprived – more than usual, that is. 

This morning I drove my sister and mum to the airport. They’re both in Melbourne right now. Mum is there for four weeks, but my sister does not have a return ticket – she will be living there for the foreseeable future.

It’s been overcast all day, raining on and off, unseasonably cold.

After leaving the airport, I drove to the park near my place, and parked my car near the bus station. I was supposed to catch a bus to a shopping centre, but didn’t feel like being around people just yet (it was still pretty early – maybe a bit after 9am), so I just sat in the car for a bit.

I sent some messages, then pulled out Birds Art Life Death, and crawled over to the back seat to do some reading (it was still raining outside, so I wasn’t going to get out of the car to get into it again). It is a beautiful book. There will be a post on it.

My old laptop (yes, this same one) finally died the other week. I’d sort of resurrected it last year, so I could do more writing, but it just blacked out one night, mid-sentence.

(Well, I suppose it’s more accurate to say it’s in a coma since it still seems to turn on ok, but it’s completely unusable because the screen is just black with white streaks. Sometimes there’s a tinge of red too.)

I was supposed to buy a new one today, but I haven’t had reason to look at laptops for ten years, and didn’t realise how expensive they were. Yeah, I could have gotten a cheaper one, but I need it to be durable – preferably for ten years.

In the end, I didn’t buy a laptop; I didn’t want to commit to a choice. As I walked away from the electronics store, I wondered if I really need one anyway (I’m writing this on the computer at my parent’s place, which I could move to my place, but I’d probably need a new desk…)

Paper is cheaper anyway, I mused, and writing by hand feels more therapeutic.

From there, I went to the library to browse for some kind of solace in literary form. In her book, Maclear writes about bird-watching in a way that made me want to take more notice of all the birds around me. As I walked through the library, I kept noticing novels with bird-related names. I’m not sure if this is also a side effect of reading her book.

Coincidentally, while wandering through the reference/non-fiction section, I found Anne Lamott’s writing guide Bird by Bird. I read the first page while standing in the aisle, as if I was contemplating whether or not to borrow it and take it home with me. There wasn’t ever really any question about it.

(But who recommended this book to me? Or was it a general recommendation that I read somewhere? I’m struggling to remember. Yes, I’m blaming sleep deprivation. Yes, I will continue to try to fix that.)

I actually did write up a post for Birds Art Life Death just now, but I didn’t want to publish it today (it is scheduled for mid next week). (Note that in the first paragraph I wrote “I really want to publish a post about it”, not “I want to write a post about it”.)

Anyway, instead of that post, we have this kind of disjointed post about my day today. If the Birds post (when it’s published) sounds a bit disjointed, it’s because I was trying to write it all before getting all of this out of my system.

6 thoughts on “next chapter

    • Aww thank-you 🙂
      I suppose I wrote it in the way Anne Lamott advises – abandoning perfectionism and just writing (and fixing it up afterwards). The method works!

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