These last few weeks have been pretty hectic. Everything’s a bit of a blur. I’ve been doing a lot of overtime at work because of this new arrangement in place involving other hospitals. (Can’t say too much, of course, because of privacy reasons or whatever.) I just worked six consecutive days – some of which were 11-12 hour days – and I am quite exhausted, but also not. I think I’ve just been running on adrenaline all week because I only had a total of maybe 3 cups of coffee and one cup of tea the whole week (and the most recent two beverages were probably unnecessary anyway).
Well, maybe we’ll call it adrenaline and fear/panic. There have been many times these last few weeks when I’ve felt like I was working as if my life depended on it. It’s like a fear of death (i.e. consequences) or fear of God (i.e. management – except I’m not really afraid of management; they’ve been very supportive).
Anyway, it hasn’t been that bad. I mean, yes, we’re exhausted and overworked, but there’s a thrill about it too. I suppose I’m someone who needs a bit of pressure and stress. I usually like doing things at a leisurely pace – cooking, eating, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc – but I know I can move faster if I have to, and sometimes it feels good. It’s like walking and running: sometimes it’s good to take it easy and walk, but sometimes I get restless and just want to run.
Speaking of running, the other night (pretty sure it was Thursday) I came home after a 12-hour day, and I was a bit exhausted, but I was also really buzzed and restless. I’d had two coffees that day (the second one was probably unnecessary but my colleague / work friend offered to buy me one, so I thought why not), and it was someone else’s birthday, so I’d had cake as well. All that caffeine, sugar, adrenaline, stress – I felt more energised, physically and mentally, than after some regular/cruisey days.
The whole way home, I was debating with myself whether or not I should go for a run. I mean, I still had to work on Friday, so I didn’t want to completely empty the proverbial tank. But, you know, I reminded myself that I’ve never regretted going for a run and, despite it being after 9pm when I got home, and despite the fact that I hadn’t had dinner yet, all arguments for and against were silenced in the wake of that one simple reminder. Well, that, and the conviction that I was not going to be able to sleep that night if I didn’t expend some of this energy.
It was only a quick run, but I felt so good during and after it. Adding post-run endorphins to the mix, I was still pretty much wide awake when I eventually went to bed a bit after midnight (although I did fall asleep pretty quickly once I closed my eyes and was lying down properly instead of in whatever position I’d collapsed onto the bed).
Now it’s the week-end, and all I want to do is lie down, or at least lounge around and do nothing. I’m also feeling quite sleepy, but I want to blame the heat for that. It suddenly got very hot here in the last week or two.
Farewell winter! Until we meet again… I’ll think of you often…
Anyway, the point I was trying to get at with this post before I went off on a tangent and forgot what I was meant to be writing about, was that I feel like I haven’t had a chance to do any decent writing in these last few weeks. I know I said I was going to get back to writing after all the inspiration I got from the Brisbane Writers Festival, but I just haven’t had the time. I’ve barely had time to blog, and I’m developing a huge list of things I want to write about (yes, including BWF). This is actually the first post in a long time that I’m publishing at the time of writing, rather than scheduling ahead.
I’ve managed to fit in some blog-reading in work breaks, commute time, and when I’m procrastinating from having to shower, do dishes or other normal adult things; but maybe it’s time to draw some sort of line here.
I do have a week off work this coming week, and I’m really hoping to catch up on many things. But the point of this week off is my friends’ wedding, which I’m expecting will preoccupy me from Tuesday onwards (the wedding is out of town, so we’ll be travelling up a couple of days beforehand), so I’m not sure how that’s going to go.
I mean, just this morning, I got up and was thinking I’d just have breakfast, and spend all day writing; but then I guilted myself into doing laundry, and then I noticed that my aloe vera plant was getting a bit crowded in its pot (it really does sprout offshoots like no tomorrow), so I spent a bit of time re-potting it and tending to my other plants that I’ve unintentionally neglected.
But I got this post done, so there’s that. And with all my adrenaline/coffee-fuelled alertness this past week, I’ve gotten so much reading done to and from work, so there’s another thing (still behind on my goal of reading 50 pages a week – yes, still on Anna Karenina – but slowly catching up with that too).
All in all, things are not too bad. Maybe we could say that they are, in fact, quite good. Hope things are good where you are too.