au contraire

Here’s one for the psychoanalysts among us, or even the randomly curious or generally opinionated.

I was pondering what to write for a post, going through my little notebook where I write down ideas, and I realised that there are several contradictory aspects of my personality. I couldn’t be bothered creating separate posts for them all (not so much being lazy, but I didn’t think I’d be able to write enough content-wise to substantiate a decent post), so I’ve combined them into the one post here.

Some random contradictions of my personality:

(1) I’m very sentimental but also a very practical sort of person

Also being an organised person, or perhaps organisation being a part of being practical, I don’t like clutter or keeping more things than I need. On the other hand, I seem to have difficultly getting rid of anything that has sentimental value, even if the item in question has no practical use whatsoever. It’s a tough choice sometimes.

Similarly, I usually will not buy things for myself that do not serve an immediate purpose, but if I’m given decorative or non-practical items (as distinguished from impractical items) as a gift from a friend or family member, I will probably keep that item forever. I might occasionally glance at it and wonder if I could dispose of it without the giver finding out, but I’ll probably never act on these speculations (except maybe just to put it away into a box to go to storage).

(2) I’m afraid of falling from great heights but I admire birds, and have always thought it’d be amazing to be able to fly

I’ve already briefly touched on this point in this post last year. I just want to kind of expand on it by saying that it might be because of this fear that I like the idea of flying. I mean, if you could fly, you wouldn’t have any reason to be afraid of falling, would you?

But, being the worrier that I am, I do wonder if I’d have trouble reaching great heights if there was always this voice in the back of my head asking what I would do if something suddenly happened to my wings mid-flight. And, before that, could I let go of my fears enough to enjoy the glory of flying by the virtue of nothing else but my own wings?

(3) I actually really like certain “bland” foods but also enjoy eating such a wide variety of types of cuisine, flavours, etc.

If given the choice, for my last meal, to have either a bowl of Weetbix and milk, or a big breakfast with all the usual suspects (because in this hypothetical scenario my last meal is going to be breakfast), I’d have a hard time making a decision. Well, I’d probably go with the big brekkie (especially if grilled haloumi was in there somewhere), but there are times when I actually crave Weetbix and its plain wheat-y taste.

Actually, there is a chance that I’d still choose the Weetbix because it’s the sentimental favourite (I eat it almost every day for breakfast), and because, if I’m going to die, I would probably still feel bad about wasting someone’s time and resources for the preparation of a large meal, when cereal and milk is so much easier and cost efficient. (See, I’m sentimental and practical, even on death row.)

Of course, I know these things, and most other things, are generally not absolute sort of traits for anyone. Most people have a bit of both, with one side probably dominating the other, either slightly or significantly. I feel that these are fairly balanced for me – or perhaps they’re competing but fairly evenly matched. Yes, maybe that’s a more accurate way to think of it.

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