unsettled

I like going to bed knowing that I can sleep-in the next day because then I’m not worried about falling asleep quickly. On these sorts of nights, I actually like to lie in bed and try to stay awake, enjoying the serenity. Ironically (in a cruel way), it’s usually on these nights that I fall asleep the fastest (compared to nights when I’m trying to get to sleep by a specific time so that I can be reasonably awake for work (or perhaps some other commitment, but usually work) the next day).

Tonight, being mid-week (i.e. Wednesday night) is not one of these nights when I can lie awake listening to the sounds of the night-time. No, I should really be getting ready to go to bed. Actually, no, I should probably already be asleep. But I don’t think that’s going to be happening any time soon.

Well, not too soon, anyway. I can feel the sleepiness creeping up, but my mind is still wide awake.

And I just felt like writing something here.

I’ve been wondering…

Do I get attached to people too easily? Do I miss certain people more than I should? Do I take too many others for granted?

Maybe (?)

Forget unrequited love; any sort of unrequited sentiment can be painful. And it might not necessarily be unrequited, but it is unexpressed (or not expressed clearly), which can be all the more painful.

And at the core of every troubled thought, and also circling around like those little birds that appear in certain animations when characters suffer blunt force trauma to the head, is this one word: why?

I can feel that I’m starting to get a bit restless – I need to run.

What better soundtrack for pondering life’s troubles than the light tread of one’s feet, the deep rhythm of one’s breathing, and the strong thud of one’s heart?

Well, I’m not game enough to go out running right now, in the middle of the night. One night, I’ll go out for a midnight run, and then come home for the best sleep of my life, but not tonight. I think, tonight, writing this has been enough to soothe my mind. My thoughts are turning toward dreams now.

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