wandering nights

I am so sleep deprived. Depending on how you look at it, the fact that it is holidays can make that either very weird or very expected. Weird in the sense that because it’s holidays, I should be able to sleep all I want to. But then expected in the sense that because it’s holidays, and there’s just so much to do, there simply isn’t enough time for sleep. Sleep is very important, though. I keep telling myself and everyone else that. I should reprioritise everything such that I have more time dedicated to sleep.

Today is only the fifth day since my last exam, but have already done so much. Am so tired already. Have already had two nights of very minimal sleep (as in, like, a few hours max). Really need to do nothing for most of the rest of these holidays. Of course, by "nothing" I really mean sleep. But then it would seem such a waste to spend so much time sleeping when I could be awake and doing stuff. I think I’d much rather be awake doing exactly nothing than asleep and not really doing anything.

I actually just got home a while ago. Don’t know why I’m writing this instead of sleeping. Probably because I have something against sleeping during the day. I could just as easily stay awake and wait until after dinner to go to sleep. That works, too. After all, I’m not that tired, really. My eyes just feel like they’d rather be closed than open right now. I’m still totally awake.

Well, ok, maybe not as awake as I could be. I just nodded off for a while there. Ok, fine. I’m going to take a nap. This would make this entry sort of pointless because it’s just four small paragraphs about how sleep deprived I am so far in these holidays.

Actually, no, I don’t think I’ll take that nap. I’m starting to feel more awake already. I have food now. I know I could cut out all this back and forth mind changing and get more to the point, but I think it nicely reflects my alleged recently-developed tendency to ramble on and on, and just keep talking. Supposedly, I talk more now.

I think I just talk more when I’m sleep deprived and going slightly insane. That’s why I reckon I’d be a happy, talkative drunk. When you’re sleep deprived, mental capacity is supposed to be equivalent to being drunk. Of course, the talkativeness also depends on circumstance and who I’m with. We do not need to find out exactly how accurate my prediction about my possible drunken demeanour will be, though. I’m fine with not knowing, and fine with no one else knowing.

To be honest, I think the real point of this entry is just so that I have more than one entry published for the month of June 2009. Not that this is just here to take up space, and waste your time because there’s nothing important in this entry. I didn’t tell you to read this, anyway. I take no responsibility for whatever loss you experience from reading this – whether it be time, interest, wakefulness or otherwise. You might say it’s a bit late to be putting the disclaimer seven paragraphs in, but that’s just too bad.

Seems I’m feeling quite awake now, actually. Possibly a combination of food and talking to people on msn that’s keeping me awake right now. Just writing this before wasn’t doing much for my wakefulness. I like writing though. It’s totally fun. Maybe that’s another point of this entry – to allow myself to write stuff, and also so I have more than one entry for June ’09.

Seriously, though, it doesn’t seem like this is going anywhere. Just doesn’t feel like there’s anything in particular that needs to be noted down here or reported via this medium. Last night / this morning was fun, though. Hardly any sleep at all. Not quite thoroughly exhausted, but will probably need the rest of the week to recover fully. Yes, I’m not giving more than vague details here. But I suppose I shall express thanks to Tim for letting us crash at his place. He’s a good chap. (I don’t know why I used those words in particular. They just sort of came to me, and I typed them out, and now there they are.)

Time to go off and do normal, mindless holidays-type activities. Too much stimulation and exhaustion lately. Need to do something more nothing-orientated. Proofreading is so tiresome, but of course everything in this entry makes sense. If it doesn’t make sense, maybe you just need to be in a more sleep deprived state to understand it.

OMG OMG OMG

 It feels so… awesome… to have finally finished exams – to finally be free of exams (for now, anyway). These last three weeks have been so insane that I, myself, have been going insane – just ever so slightly insane…

Honestly, I don’t know where to begin with this. I so totally feel like complaining about how horrible it was to have six exams, but then I’m so happy at it all being over that I’m not really in the complaining sort of mood right now. Looking forward to a month of holidays; don’t really want to be looking back on three weeks of cramming. Suppose I should, though, anyway, seeing as we might call this an important episode of my life.

Swotvac, naturally is a week of isolation and solitary confinement for me. It’s when I’m supposed to get really serious about study and cramming and preparing for exams, so need to keep distractions and procrastination to a minimum. Did my best to do so this time around. Yeah, ok, I could have cut out some distractions (namely Youtube and other internet sites), but I’m only human. And motivation isn’t exactly an easy thing to maintain consistently for three weeks.

I was basically just going through one lecture after another, trying to get everything to stay in my memory. That’s not exactly an easy thing to do, though, when there are five different courses/subjects to study for. The analogy I’ve used for it is, like, trying to anchor boats in a certain area of sea because if you don’t, they’ll just drift off, and you have to use up time finding them and bringing them back. That analogy totally makes sense. Makes sense in my mind, anyway. Too brain-dead to properly explain my random analogy.

So, anyway, I guess swotvac went alright. Not that I got as much study done as realistically possible, but it was good enough. Exam block was a bit crazier though. Lost more sleep then. At least during swotvac I got enough sleep. Well, at least I think I did. It seems so long ago, and so much has happened since then that I don’t really remember how much sleep I actually got. Why would I remember such a trivial detail like that, anyway? We can assume I got enough sleep.

All of my exams were in the morning sessions, so that meant a heck of a lot of getting up incredibly early to cram. Although most of my study during swotvac was done at home, I studied at uni during the day for most of the exam block, so that meant even more incredibly early waking up times so that I could get to uni early and find a good place in the library to study. Of course, here, my “incredibly early” is 5am. I don’t think I could have managed any earlier than that – especially considering the sun isn’t even up at that time and it’s so cold and all.

As to whether I study better at home or at uni – I’m still not totally sure on that. I probably get just as distracted in either location, so I get just as much work done wherever. Actually, it might be that swotvac study is good at home, but then exam block study is better at uni coz I have to go to uni so much for exams anyway, so just sort of get used to going to uni and studying there.

So sleep deprived after these two weeks of exams. But, of course, who am I to complain when other people have been sleeping much, much less than my average 5 hours a night..? I think during semester, I aimed for at least about 7 hours a night. Sure, that wasn’t a very consistently achieved thing, but going from that to just 5 hours is still a significant drop for me. Of course, it’s a given that I’ll be trying to sleep more these holidays, but how well that works out is a totally different matter. After all, there’s just so much to do.

Not surprisingly, I would actually like to study during these holidays. I think this semester has sufficiently freaked me out about how insane second year pharm is. Will probably just go over all the diseases/conditions/whatever from this semester (and the associated drugs, of course), so that I don’t totally forget everything. Probably should also do something about that personal medicines formulary thing that I’ve sort of fallen behind on because it’s not directly examinable. I have a feeling time might pass pretty quickly, though, so don’t know how likely I am to get all this done.

Just thought of something else so OMG-worthy: Queensland won State of Origin last night! That makes it the fourth series in a row, which is the first time that’s been done in the whole history of Origin footy. Of course, because I had an exam this morning, I didn’t watch the game last night. I checked the score at, like, 71 minutes (when it was 18-14 in favour of QLD), and then again at full time. That was only because the TV was on in the other room and I could hear the commentators getting a bit more excited and hyped up towards the end.

I was totally focused on study, though. It’s just that I needed to go drink some water, and the TV was on, and it happened to be on the way to getting water. And, yes, I really needed to drink water twice in the space of about ten minutes. I refrained from watching it up until the 71st minute, ok~ I think that’s good enough. But then, of course, I watched some match highlights on the morning news before I headed off to uni today, so I’ve had my Origin fix. Honestly, though, I’m not that obsessed. I have my priorities right.

Alright. I think that’s just about enough for this entry. Sort of surprised I’ve been able to write this much considering my mental state at the moment. Can’t be bothered proofreading this thoroughly. Think I have quite a few ridiculously long sentences, too. But, like, whatever~